I'm starting to be afraid....

Discussion in 'Off-Topic & Chit Chat' started by szecsuani, Mar 15, 2008.

  1. szecsuani Experienced Member

    So, we go to a park every day, and be there for about 1 and a half- 2 hours.
    There is a guy, who is following us. He has 3 dogs, and always tries to talk to me, and when I say I have to go, and go away, and walk somewhere else, he sometimes appears there too.
    He always asks about me, where I go to school, whats my zodiac sign, etc...
    I'm starting to be afraid.
    I've already asked my mom,, and my friends to go with me, and when they are with me, he doesn't show up.

    So what do you think I could do??
    I don't want to miss too many of our walks, but this can't go on! I'm going crazy!!

  2. Jean Cote Administrator

    Get your dad, an uncle or a older man to go talk to him and to tell him to leave you alone.

    How old is this guy?
  3. goldencheddar New Member

    Watch from a distance

    Maybe since he doesn't show up when you bring someone, have your uncle or a guy wait at a distance and when he shows up, then they can confront him. Make sure you have your mobile phone with you and you could call someone to come if you need too.

    that is the thing I hate about going to the park. My place to play and train is also a public park. Mine has houses around the border and I know some of the people that live around so I feel safe, but I always have my phone.:msnrolleyes:
  4. fletcher New Member

    Szecsuani, that is very scary. How horrible for you. I think that the above advise is great, also, you could make a quick call to your local police to see if anyone else has been bothered by him or to make sure they know this person is acting strangely.
  5. szecsuani Experienced Member

    No idea, maybe around 25-30.

    I always have my mobile with me, so that is no problem.

    and I don't know how I could ask the police if they know anything about this guy, becouse I don't know his name.

    Now I am trying to walk Pami at another part of the park, and it seems to be working, he didn't turn up for 2 days, but today I went on our usual way, and there he was!
  6. marieke New Member

    Try to take his picture so he can be identified if (please forbid) ever nessecary. If this guy is really up to no good is hard to tell. If you feel he's really just interested in having a chat you might tell him that his behaviour worries you. Make sure there are friends/family members nearby. Could it be that this guy likes you but has limited social skills? In that case he may not realize his behaviour is inappropriate. Telling someone that they are scaring you can be a very powerful tool. It makes them empethize with you.

    In my previous job I had to deal with a lot of strange people (addicts, ex-prisoners, socially very weak people) and I learnt it was good to let them know I found their behaviour scary or intimidating and explaned why. Most of them didn't realize the impact their behaviour had on other people.

    But if this guy is a potential danger the above won't help. I wonder how old he is. If he's quite a bit older than you definately don't try the above but ask an older person to help you with this. And calling the police to inform if anyone else is bothered by this guy is also good advice (if not the best). And don't go to the park alone until this is solved. And trust your instincts. If you think it's maybe not safe: it most likely definately is unsafe.
  7. goldencheddar New Member

    Police may know

    I was amazed at how familiar the police in my neighborhood were with some of the creepy people. Don't worry about not knowing a name, just ask the police if they have had any reports in the park and then ask if you can call them next time you see him.

    OK now on the not parinoid side, I think if he is dragging three dogs to the park, his hands are too full to be a threat. He sounds like he is lonely and wants to talk. I would go to another park for a while and let him find someone to latch onto.
  8. l_l_a New Member

    Szecsuani - first I want to say you have very good sense for having your guard up and telling your mom about this! And for asking for advice here to!

    You are right to be concerned about this. This is what troubles me:

    He has been asking you personal questions. When you tell him you have to go and then you leave, HE FOLLOWS YOU. This is not normal or appropriate behavior for a 25-30 year old man to do around a 15-year-old girl!! If he was a boy your own age, then it would be totally different, then I would be more likely to say "aww how sweet, he has a crush on you and is trying to get you interested in him!" But if he is quite a bit older than you, then this is not right and it's not normal. It's creepy. A 25-30 year old man should not be walking up to a lone 15 year old girl just to try and befriend her out of the blue, and definitely not to the point of following her after she has left, or approaching repeatedly asking personal questions.

    The fact that he doesn't do this when your mom and friends are around, shows that he has something to hide. Again, if he was a boy your own age like a classmate, I wouldn't worry about it. But since this is an older man, and you are a minor, it is different.

    I suggest the following:

    1. I agree with Goldencheddar about bringing your mom or dad along but have them "hide" so that the creepy man will think you are alone and approach you again. if he sees your parents with you then he won't do anything so unfortunately there's nothing for your parents to confront him with. But if he thinks you're alone he may come over and talk to you again. At this point your mom or dad can come over and tell him to stop and he can't deny anything. And maybe they can also video him approaching you on their mobile phones just in case.

    2. Go to the park at a different time, change your routine. If possible, go at a time when there are more people, e.g. are there children playing games after school there, or sports teams having practices?

    3. Buy a whistle and carry it round your neck or on your keychain. This is to call for help in an emergency IF you should ever need it (god forbid you won't need it though!). The sound of a whistle is much louder and more penetrating than shouting. And at the same time the loud piercing sound can scare a bad guy off because it is drawing attention from other people.

    4. Find other parks or other places to go? maybe you can vary where you go each day so it is not so easy for someone to know where exactly you are going to be.

    I agree with Marieke - it is better to be over-cautious than not enough.
  9. goldencheddar New Member

    Oh my goodness. I did not realize Szecsuani is only 15. I totally agree with this post. I'd quit going to that park.
  10. stormi Well-Known Member

    Szecsuani...sorry to hear you are being scared by this guy...his behaviour certainly sounds odd.

    Do you carry a can of pepper spray with you? Or do you have other things you are legally allowed to carry in Hungary that can put off an attacker? Hopefully you wouldnt need it, especially as the guy seems only to want to talk, but it might help you feel safer?

    I agree that you wouldnt need the guys name to go to the police...just be able to describe what he looks like?
  11. dat123 Experienced Member

    I think you should give the park a miss for a week or two, it might discourage him hanging around you. Obviously he's not getting the hint that you are feeling uncomfortable.
    Your safety is more important than taking the dogs out.

    If there are other regular people at that park, maybe you could ask them if they know him or anything about him, might be able to find out if he is innocent or a major problem.
  12. szecsuani Experienced Member

    This guy is pretty popular in the park, becouse his dogs are really well trained, and can do amazing tricks really. So most people like him.

    I only go to places where loads of people are, walking their dogs, playing football, or anything. This park is the only park in the middle of the city, so there are loads of people there, but I can't go anywhere else becouse of this. Maybe I'll go to the park in a different time.

    As far as I know, pepper spray is the only thing allowed here, but I don't have any. And I don't know how I can get it.
  13. storm22 Experienced Member

    how terrible for you Szecsuani
    theres some good info on here i would definalty agree with not going by yourself, and have your dad or uncle to watch from a distant to see if he comes along

    ive had a few horrible walks like that (sometimes the only time i can walk storm is late at night) but the good thing is when they actually notice that that stray dog is with you they back off (hes off lead at night as there usually no one else around and he stays close) i love my wolf looking dog (aparently that what he looks like)

    hope all goes well and keep safe
  14. tx_cowgirl Honored Member

    Oh dear! This is nothing to fool around with, Szescuani, I'm sure you know that. It is a good idea to have someone hide out, although it still could be dangerous. It would be a good idea to relocate your walking area. Here's some other options.
    Carry mace with you, and have it in your hand while you're walking. If he comes near, you can either alert him that you have it, or you can show no mercy and spray him immediately. (I'm not sure what the Hungarian translation for mace is...so in case you don't know this one...um...pepper spray? If you have trouble finding this, basically it comes in a small can and when you spray it in a person's eyes it burns like crazy.)
    Carry a knife on you--you may not actually have any need to use it, but at least you may feel safer. Personally, I carry a knife on me at all times, although not for that reason. I use it all the time for cutting baling twine on hay bales, or a wide variety of things around here. But in the event that I need it, I have it. I just carry it because I use it a lot.
    Find a different park--if he finds you there too, something must be done if you haven't already contacted the proper authorities.
    If you have a male friend or relative, BRING THEM. As has been suggested, let them hide out, or have them walk several feet behind you as if they weren't even with you. A rather large, intimidating friend would be best. ^^ I have a buddy who is 6' 9", and I guarantee you that if I ever have this problem, he's the one I'll call! Lol. :D
    I think that getting other people involved may help for a while, but may not permenately get rid of him. For instance, he may back off for a few weeks after a friend or family member confronts him, but then come back. I think it would be best to go to the police.
    Fortunately, when I'm walking Rusty I have no problems at all whatsoever. Most people think he's a pit bull, and he looks rather intimidating. He's extremely protective of me and has a nose for "bad" people, and doesn't tolerate them. I don't worry that he will attack anyone, so don't think that I have a people-aggressive dog...but I just know that he would protect me if I needed him to.
  15. bigboytex New Member

    Wow...This is not cool at all...I would defenaly take a knife with me..But im a redneck so i always have one with me..I agree with all the suggestions on here about what to do. and if u didnt live half way around the world id come help you...but im poor so i cant sorry.
  16. CollieMan Experienced Member

    You could also try carrying a Mariah Carey CD around with you too. I know that I won't go anywhere near anyone who is carrying one!

    If that doesn't work - threaten to play it. That never fails!
  17. yoyopoodle Well-Known Member

    Lol CollieMan :)

    Szescuani, I agree with all of the above advice.

    Definitely contact the police - if the guy is innocent, nothing will happen - if he's not, the proper precautions will have been taken. Always better safe than sorry.

    I teach my service dogs three commands for barking:

    1. Speak - used when the attention of a person is needed (dog can't reach a dropped item, etc).

    2. Guard - used when the person feels threatened by another and wants to convey the impression that the dog is protection trained.

    3. 'Click' sound with tongue - used when person feels threatened but doesn't want the stranger to know... makes it look like the dog is suspicious and is taking matters into their own hands.

    I recently read a really good book: The Gift Of Fear by Gavin de Becker. I highly recommend it for everyone, but especially young women.

    ... The fact that this guy has 3 well behaved dogs that do tricks for him is a good sign, but obviously no guarantee that he's 'safe'.
  18. szecsuani Experienced Member

    Lol! Even I won't go near a person with a Mariah Carey CD! :D

    Thanks everyone! The only thing I did was not to go to the park for a while.

    Thanks again.:)
  19. storm22 Experienced Member

    hahahaha collieman you crack me up

    also you could train your dog a growling or attack command (not a lunging im gunna kill you command but a BACK OFF NOW!!! command)

    storm has one, he knows how to speak but if i want him to look staunch i say 'ohh nanaz' (pronounced- nuneez) i know strange saying but my dad taught our other dogs this and i taught storm this, no one would ever think of saying this to a dog, thats why its good
  20. luna may New Member

    I agree with Fletcher, and all the other posts, really. 99% odds are that it's just a guy with no sense of tact, but carefull just in case, OK? Remember, it's also okay to be positive while looking out ;). We're all right behind you, remember that too =)

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