Oh Jenny, i so so understand, and hearing it is YOUR fault is NOT helpful. Ha, that is one thing i grind my teeth about dog whisperer for, is his convincing america that all dog issues are tied into their owner. Some issues, like inherit shyness are not, and i also personally believe, that it's counter part is inherit aggression. I do, i do think some dogs are just wired this way. Yes, we can make it a lil better or worse, but we aren't the reason the dog isn't right.
In "click to calm" a dog behaviorist raised a pup who turned out dog-aggressive, dispite being well socialized, etc etc. I do think some dogs are born with a wire crossed inthere, just like the inheritly shy dog is born that way.
It'd also be interesting to hand the leash over to your teachers and see what they can do. Might wanna try that sometime, Jenny.
DO HAVE HOPE. My dog is getting better. He might not ever be 100% right, but, he is getting better.
ONe thing i've done, that makes my walk a lot easier, is, i wear one of my BFs belts, over my lower waist, like where hiphugger/low rise jeans would sit..........and i slip the extenda leash onto that belt. I shorten his leash up if i see an oncoming dog, cuz, Buddy can really pack a wallop if he has a full 20 feet to get a good lunge going!! So i shorten it. I carry a lil flashlight to wrap the leash around to reel Buddy in if i had to, to save my hands.
Putting a regular leash on a belt could be done too. Frees up both my hands.
And Jenny , your instincts are right--you do not want to hit your dog, not ever. It will only make him MORE fearful "Every time i see a dog, i get hit."
Tx once told me that "Gentle Leader" head harness is good thing, google that. Tx says some dogs who wear that can--over time--- even get better attitudes/more confidence, and might be able to be weaned back off the GL.
I got one, and i must say, WOW, Jenny WOW!! It is like walking a whole other dog when Buddy has his GL on. He does hate it, and i've sorta resisted using it, but, i might start using it more.
When Buddy has a GL on, he doesn't even aggress, he realizes he can't unless i want him to, so he gives up. He ignores other dogs, it is as if Buddy says, "well, if i can't YELL at this dog, i'm not even going to look at him then."
Jenny, when a dog has a GL on, there is NO WAY he can lunge. He doesn't even get to LOOK at anything if you don't want him to. YOU have complete control of his head and which way it is going to point to.
DO FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS or the online video about GENTLE LEADER head harness, on how to properly introduce the GL to your dog, don't skimp on any of the steps. Use meat treats, too. Like lil SMALL bits of cut up hot dog or chicken or some meat. Not biscuits.
when i put Buddy's on, i immediately take him outside for his walk. I have everything ready, my walking shoes on, i got my bug repellent on, i have my bag and my flashlight, and THEN i put his GL on, and out we go. Otherwise he tries to rub it off his head while i put my shoes on.
DO INVESTIGATE GENTLE LEADER head harnesses, Jenny, this might be a real good help for you for now!!! AND GET THAT BOOK TX DISCUSSES!!! (u can get it at Amazon)