A Special Video...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic & Chit Chat' started by Dlilly, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. brody_smom Experienced Member

    There's no money in the budget for that. Hubby is the breadwinner, and he would rather get rid of him than shell out hundreds of dollars to a trainer to make him better.

  2. southerngirl Honored Member

    Oh well I understand that, I would get a trainer for Missy if I had it. I'm all alone when it comes to training Missy, because my 6 siblings don't like her or my dad , my mom is okay about her. Find anyone you can to introduce to Brody, someone who will be patient and listen to you. Do any of your older kids like him if so maybe one of their friends will help you. Also one thing I do is go to places where there are dogs and find somewhere to keep a distance and work with Missy, you could do this with people for Brody.
    Also could you put Brody in a bedroom while guest are over, that way he couldn't see them and give him some toys to keep him busy.
    Like I said before my family does not like Missy, but I don't care I love her and that's all that matters. Just brush any harsh comments about brody off, who cares what they think, you know Brody is a good boy and why he behaves like he does.
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  3. brody_smom Experienced Member

    Sounds like we have a lot in common! There are 7 kids in your family? Most people think I am nuts for having 5! I love big families.

    Yes, all my kids like Brody,and most of them love him. He is a wonderful, sweet boy, except for when he's not!:D Our house is very small for the number of people that live in it, so getting him far enough away from the action is a challenge. It is possible that he is not as bad as I think he is, but I am too scared of what could happen with strangers that I don't even want to try. I know things won't improve until I start taking some risks and setting up some controlled situations. I wish I could afford to pay someone to do it for me, at least once, so I could see how it should be done. For now, I need to get some really good treats and take him to places that are busy with people, but big enough that he can watch from a comfortable distance.
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  4. 648117 Honored Member

    I have four siblings (I'm the middle child of five).

    Do your husband and daughter ever get to see the good fun bits of Brody?

    Lewis hates people coming to our house, even people who visit multiple times a week he still hasn't accepted them (although he does calm down if put in his crate or held). So no one likes him except the people who live here.

    When my Nana was here last week (for some reason Lewis isn't as bad with Nana but she still doesn't risk patting him). She was here for a while and Lewis relaxed after a bit and started to play with a toy. When Lewis plays with a toy it is pretty funny and my Nana was laughing at him and by the time he had finished she liked him more.
    So basically, my Nana got to see a side of Lewis (a fun non-jerk side) that only people who live with him normally see and it made her like him more. No matter how much we tell people that Lewis is a cuddly baby at home, it's hard for them to believe it when he is such a nutter around them.

    So maybe it would help your husband and daughter if you could somehow show them the good bits of Brody so they will like him more and be more willing to help him/be more understanding.
    Maybe get them to give him his dinner so that he associates them with good things.
    brodys_mom, MaryK and southerngirl like this.
  5. MaryK Honored Member

    I totally agree with Southerngirl, find a good Positive + trainer and if possible, take your husband and eldest daughter along too.

    I know how you're placed. Whilst my partner does not dislike dogs, he's 'old school' when it comes to training. Says things like he's the 'pack leader/top dog' etc. etc. and uses old school methods, which don't work, refuses to listen to me at all. I too get the eye rolls and 'all that rubbish about dog psychology' etc. etc. Though he does appear to be learning, men are such slow learners, now we have a situation with the two boys, which yelling doesn't/hasn't fixed just exacerbated, seems maybe I am right after all.

    Brody will sense your husband's dislike, I had some one visit once on business, and my late German Shepherd who was very used to strangers /visitors in the house, would NOT leave my side and 'glared' at the woman the entire time she was there - bit disconcerting as the woman was there for a job interview - but as it turned out my dog knew that she didn't like dogs, I found that out with some discreet questions and needless to say she didn't get the job as a house keeper, surprise surprise and I had advertised for a DOG LOVER. She thought she could fool me but hey she couldn't fool my dog!!!!!!!! Fortunately as Odette was well behaved, she didn't attempt anything more than a very dark 'glare' but, dogs do know the people who either dislike dogs or are afraid of them.
    brodys_mom likes this.
  6. MaryK Honored Member

    Good post!!!!!!!!!!(y)(y) I agree, get your husband and daughter to see the 'fun/good' Brody!
    brodys_mom likes this.
  7. brody_smom Experienced Member

    They've seen his good side. She will sit and cuddly with Brody when he is nice and calm, but he still barks at her when she comes in the door. My daughter isn't as bad as my husband, but she is an animal lover, he only likes the ones you can eat! They just have no patience for his bad behavior, and they think he acts up on purpose, just to annoy them. They think if he does something, it is out of spite, and because he barks at them more than anyone else in the family, it must be personal. And I guess in a way it is. The two of them are similar in many ways. They both have really loud voices, and they resent having to accommodate Brody's fearfulness in any way. He should just "get over it" on his own. Funny thing (well, not really funny), but when Brody doesn't bark at something my husband does, he seems disappointed. And he will do something dumb, like hug my daughter right in front of Brody when he is in his crate, just to make him bark. He will start singing and snapping his fingers, then when Brody starts barking, he says "Sheesh, I can't even sing in my own house." So I have to anticipate every silly thing he does, or every move he makes so that I can be ready to click/treat Brody before he reacts to it. I have even tried singing and dancing and snapping my fingers in front of Brody, tossing him treats as long as he doesn't react. It doesn't help. Brody still reacts to everything Daddy does.

    I'm trying to figure out how to get him to stop barking at them when they come home from work. I am usually home and if I see them pull up in their car, I will say, calmly, but cheerfully, "Daddy's home" or "Becky's home", just to let him know. He will go to the front window to watch them walk up the driveway, and he's fine. He can hear the gate open and anticipates the door opening, and I wait until the door opens and he sees them. If he doesn't bark, he gets a treat. But sometimes, I don't see the car pull up, but only hear the gate opening, and then he rushes the door before I can get to him calmly, then the barking ensues. Brody seems to know who is on the other side of the door before it opens, even if I don't say anything. If I go out, he never barks when I come in the door, or my other teenage daughter. The two older kids and my husband are always greeted with a growly bark when they come in the door. My older son will always stop and greet Brody when he comes in, bending down and scratching his ears. Becky pushes past him, saying something about how rude he is. Daddy stiffens right up and says something like, "it's just daddy, don't bite me".
    MaryK likes this.
  8. MaryK Honored Member

    I can see how you're placed, not the best. Just one thought at present (it's very late here and I'm ready for bed, the brain's already asleep:sleep:). Is there anything that you can use as an analogy that relates directly to your husband and Becky? May be two different ones of course, which will 'wake them up' that Brody will not just 'get over it"?.

    For example, was Becky ever afraid of the dark when she was little? That type of thing, something THEY have been afraid of and needed some comfort/help to get over the fear. It just may help to get them to realize that Brody is afraid and needs help to over come his fear.

    Or something they really dislike anyone doing to them, which makes them angry (not Brody related of course). A reminder that they don't like xyz may make them realize that what they're doing at times, especially your husband, is teasing Brody (like hugging Becky when Brody's in his crate) and they don't like to be teased, so neither does Brody.

    Will try to think of anything else in the morning.
    brodys_mom and southerngirl like this.
  9. 648117 Honored Member

    The teasing is probably why Brody doesn't like them.

    The person that Lewis hates the absolute most is my older brother. He doesn't live with us but the first time he met Lewis he teased him and got all angry and offended at Lewis' growling and barking even though he was warned that Lewis went nuts at strangers at our house and he should just ignore Lewis. Mum had to tell him that trying to intimidate Lewis into not barking isn't going to work.

    So now Lewis goes absolutely crazy when he comes round and will not calm down. Normally we just have to pick Lewis up or put him in his crate to calm him down but neither work very well when my brothers here even if we keep Lewis in a different room.
    And then my brother makes it even worse because if Lewis does start to calm down a bit he will stomp his feet so Lewis starts going nuts again :mad:
    I think if Lewis ever did bite anyone it would be my brother, he just hates him sooo much. We don't let Lewis near him anymore.
    But I don't like that brother either (he really is a "not very nice person") and thankfully he doesn't visit very often, my parents go to his house.
    MaryK likes this.
  10. southerngirl Honored Member

    I know how you feel about the brother thing. My brother and dad can be yerks to Missy and they both live with me. Missy is a very sensitive girl if someone yells at her she runs to my room tail tucked. She knows that she is safe there. Thankfully though after years of "training":LOL: my brother has learned never to put his hands on my dog or yell at her same with my dad. If they try I pick her up and take her to my room. (Know if only I could pick up Chase) Man I can't wait for my jerk of a brother moves out, hopefully soon(he's 21)
    MaryK likes this.
  11. Gordykins Experienced Member

    There is a trainer who volunteers her time at my local SPCA to do a training course for dogs and their families. She does this so that (hopefully) less dogs will be surrendered because of behavior issues. The class is completely free. I think maybe I mentioned it on this forum before, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself. I just think it's areally great idea. I hear so many people say they can't afford training classes... to surrender a dog at our shelter costs $50... so a free training class looks good to those people who really do wish they could work things out.

    If I were in your shoes, I would search all around my area for a free class like this. The only negative about the class in my area, is that due to the trainer's availability to just cut that time out of her schedule (she is doing a great class for free after all) she is only able to schedule the time to do it once every month. So... if you do find a class like this... figure out how you can make it as advantageous as possible. Maybe your hubby might be impressed with what Brody learns (I actually do see a lot of dogs and handlers make huge strides in just one class with an experienced trainer... it is amazing sometimes), or maybe the trainer will know what to say or do that might strike a chord with your hubby... bring him with you to see the session. Maybe the trainer will have ideas for how you can continue, free or low cost suggestions. Bring a list of all of your questions so that all of your areas of concern are addressed since there may be a long wait for you to be able to work with that trainer (or another trainer) again.
    Sometimes just having a different set of eyes on you and your dog's interactions helps too. If you have a friend who is good at training their own dogs, maybe invite your friend over to see some things you routinely do with your dog, and around your house... and ask your friend to be blatantly honest about whether there are things that she thinks could be improved or not.

    And if absolutely nothing else... if it is just money that is the issue... I've been known to ask my boyfriend for gifts that have way more to do with Gordy than for me!! We're not big gift people anyway... we normally ask that people don't buy us gifts for holidays or birthdays... but rather to donate to a charity of their choosing, or will suggest the SPCA if they want an idea. But... my boyfriend knows that the easiest way to make me happy is to spoil Gordy :) He doesn't think of it as wasting away money on the dog... because he knows that when I'm with my dog, I'm happy... and he knows the importance of a happy girlfriend :ROFLMAO:
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  12. brody_smom Experienced Member

    I have tried the analogies. More eye-rolling. Little compassion.

    Hubby hates confrontation. If there is a problem of any sort, he will go for the quick fix (he'd be a shock collar kind of guy). If that fails, he gives up pretty quickly and just avoids the issue all together. His way of dealing with Brody is to try and pretend he doesn't exist. Hard to do when all the neighborhood dogs are barking and Brody joins in. Becky is a problem solver, peace maker type, but she is not gentle or patient. She doesn't have the time or inclination to work with Brody, so she is annoyed that his "problems" aren't solved yet. I guess she would consider a shock collar, too. She has suggested a spray bottle.
    MaryK likes this.
  13. Dlilly Honored Member

    I still have Rory and he is improving but very, very, slowly. It's better than nothing though and that's just normal for extreme cases like him. Him being 'calm' for more than a half a second is amazing. X)

    There are 3 things you can do; start training Brody, bring Brody to a shelter, or re-home Brody to a family that can train him.

    If Brody is not having the best life he can have, (he is locked up all day, he doesn't get a lot of attention, he doesn't get a lot of exercise) and you and your family are trying your best but things aren't working out, there is nothing wrong with re-homing Brody. It seems from what you've told us that he isn't in need of re-homing. It seems like you probably can train Brody to behave and he isn't in need of dire re-homing. BUT, if things actually are out of control, re-homing him to a better family is your second best option. Brody just needs someone who can take a few months to work with him, he isn't a bad dog. The last option would be to send him to the shelter\pound, and he would most likely be put down because of his behavioral problems, which IMO seem minor. Him being in shelter is the worst thing for him because 1) The shelter is a nerve-racking place, strange people and dogs are everywhere and things are loud and scary. He might become worse at the shelter and then no one will adopt him. 2)Being terrified and missing your family is an awful way to spend your last moments alive…. Not many people would agree with me on this, but I think it would be more humane to put down a dog that can't be re-homed where he is happy and spends his last moments with his family rather than spend it in a shelter stresses and scared.

    Can you give me a list of all of Brody's bad behaviors please so I know exactly what your dealing with. It think you just need to make a plan of what you're going to do, and have the family participate.

    brodys_mom and southerngirl like this.
  14. brody_smom Experienced Member

    I'm so happy to hear you still have Rory and that he is making progress, slow though it may be. I was worried as the thread ended rather suddenly.

    I believe Brody has the best life he could have at this point. I am a full-time stay-at-home mom, home-schooling my two youngest children. He is only left alone in the house for an hour or so twice a week when we deliver newspapers, and occasionally on weekends. He gets plenty of love and attention. He is being exercised and trained daily, and has been since we got him in February. I am a rookie dog trainer, however, and cannot afford private training, so if his issues are beyond my capabilities, then we need to look at other options for him. When we adopted him from the SPCA, we signed a form which said that we should return him to the shelter if we could not keep him for some reason.

    His main behavior problems stem from fear and reactivity. He used to be very mouthy and jumped up a lot, but those issues have been mostly solved. His barking in the house, whether it is in response to outside noises and activities or reactivity to things we are doing in the house, is the one problem that affects everyone the most, and is making Brody a nuisance to the members of our home who are not dog lovers. His bark is quite loud and sharp, and therefore difficult to ignore. He can be quite persistent if he is trying to get our attention, and we have many dogs in our neighborhood who are left outside to bark all day. He also barks at us for doing things we consider normal parts of daily life: singing, dancing, laughing loudly, arguing/discussing, play fighting, hugging. He will also bark at his own reflection in the oven door or the windows at night.

    Other than the barking, he is fearful of other dogs and strangers. This is becoming more of a problem lately, making walking him quite stressful for both of us. If he gets over-threshold while on leash, he redirects his frustration onto me. He has successfully bitten me once without breaking the skin, but has snapped at my ankles on two other occasions without making contact. If he is frightened by off-leash dogs or strangers, he will release his anal sacs. This has happened a few times in our house, most recently today. My daughters and I were going to a bridal shower, and I was all dressed up to go when he saw me and didn't recognize me (he has never seen me in anything but jeans or sweats before today, plus I was wearing high heels). He was so scared, he wouldn't come close to me. I had to crouch down and keep talking to him until he got up the courage to come and take a treat from my hand. He was so relieved when he realized who I was, but he had already released his anal sacs and stunk up the house.

    I have the time and am quite willing to put in the work necessary to help Brody with his problems. Unfortunately, certain members of my family are impatient and lack compassion towards him, making my job even harder.

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