tango61;9034 said:
i heard somewhere that she is okay as long as her tounge stays pink. is that true?
Not necessarily. By the time you see her tongue turning blue, she's already in a life threatening situation. There are also situations where she may be unable to breathe, yet her tongue could stay pink.
If anything, it is more important count her breaths when she is asleep. Normal would be <30/minute. If she's breathing rapidly even when she is relaxed, she's not doing so well.
Again, here you are just trying to find out WHEN she's not doing well, but until you can get a diagnosis, you don't really have any way of preventing her from getting worse. Although, even without a diagnosis, you should discuss with your veterinarian about the severity of her murmur, and what symptoms you should watch out for, and what you can do in the mean time. If you don't trust your veterinarian's opinion, ask for a second opinion. It is unlikely for any of us to be able to be of any help when we've never seen your dog.